You are miserys’ mistress. Even if fortune looked your way and gave you the night of your life, you would still sneak back into miserys’ arms.
You claim you desire joy or one of her friends. You claim you yearn for peace, when in reality you allow drama to engulf you.
You are miserys’ bitch. A sly one at that, a submissive slave who may appear to obey when beckoned when in reality it is you who beckons misery.
Misery likes to think it owns you, you let it think it makes all the decisions and has all the power, that misery has a hold on you… It is misery who is your bitch, your plaything.
You throw yourself into a poisonous codependant relationship with each other. So twisted you both are, it’s hard to tell where either of you begin or end.
Misery and you may have an agreed upon open relationship, one that involves daliances with others such as pain, depression or hunger, but you always find your way back into each other’s beds. God forbid you may sleep apart.
Even if you won the lottery or found your one and true soul mate, misery will always follow, not out of choice but because you’ve chained it at the ankle.
God forbid you’re ever torn apart.
I have turned this heart cold
To an inch from its death.
Plucked away all feelings,
Chased them away
Till they disappeared without a trace.
Then I bolted that door shut,
Put a sign “No light can enter”
Happiness can never live here.
This is my palace.
And so it began,
Lit fire in the eyes to fool them.
Faked laughs to throw off suspicion.
“Hear that sound?
See that sparkle?
This heart is alive and beating ”
I have claimed this land.
It is my palace,
I have conquered all
And slain those in my way.
I have spread my demons
To vanquish doubts.
Engulfed in this darkness,
I am home.
Life seems like a movie to me,
Where my only role is to watch and see.
I watch people living their lives
Wondering where the hell is mine.
Like a leaf that fell too early from its tree
And from its position on the ground it has to see
The life of the tree that goes on
Not even noticing it was gone.
And as it remains on the ground
It prays for someone to hear its sound;
for someone to throw it away
Or put it in the place right away.
All that is wants is for God to hear its cry.
It waits for God’s mercy
To put it out of its misery,
By living or dying;
One way or the other