The Relationship Agreement part 3

Here you go, part 3

Section 5: Traveling

  1. At least 3 consecutive days a year, each party gets to travel with their friends without the counterparty.
  2. There should be at least one trip a year with only both parties; no kids, no family, no friends.

Section 6: Bad Day:

  1. In case either party is having a bad day, he/she is entitled to doing absolutely nothing while looking and dressing horribly. HOWEVER, the clothes must be clean.
  2. The counterparty must provide comfort food and offer a massage.
  3. Unless asked otherwise, the other party must keep a safe distance and completely shut his/her mouth.
  4. Snapping as a result (but with a limit) of a bad day is accepted, but only if followed by an apology later on.

Section 7: Work:

  1. Unless agreed otherwise before getting engaged, the male can’t forbid the female from working after marriage no matter what.
  2. The male must understand the demands of the female’s work by helping around the house… It won’t kill him to cook a meal every once and a while.

Section 8: The In-laws:

  1. Mother-from-hell must be acknowledged and a plan must be formed to deal with her.
  2. Both parties must form an alliance to support each other against any attacks.
  3. Mother in law must be tolerated. However, if she crosses the line, the son/daughter must speak with her and take the spouse’s side.
  4. If the mother in law is suspected of trying to sabotage the relationship for no reason, all her opinions and words are to be ignored; she must not be allowed to influence their relationship.
  5. Any attacks from anyone in the family, no matter how minor must be retaliated one way or another by the alliance
  6. A heads-up must be given in advance about the parent’s expectations and enough time must be given to try to meet those expectations.
  7. Seeing the in-laws shouldn’t be more than once every 10 days unless there is an occasion.
  8. Under no circumstances can either party forbid the counter party from seeing their family, no matter what the family has done to the spouse.
  9. No family member is allowed to be involved in personal matters unless both parties agree to do so. And the family member must be picked based on their ability to keep a secret and their experience in the matter at hand.
  10. Family events must be planned ahead and agreements from both parties to attend are vital.
  11. Not wanting to go to a family gathering/event doesn’t mean that that party doesn’t like the family and so, must be accepted.
  12. Staying over at a family member’s house is to be planned ahead and welcomed by both parties. Neither party can force the other one into staying over.

Section 9: Weight Gain, Fitness, and Grooming:

  1. Once the male gains the marriage-belly, he loses all rights to comment on female’s appearance and body.
  2. The male can’t comment on the female’s weight unless she weights more than him.
  3. Both parties can “suggest” that they both start working out together.
  4. After giving birth, the female has up one year to go back to her original weight.
  5. Joking and telling your counterparty that he/she smells bad and must take a shower is not to be considered as an insult. However, if said person had a bad day or is not in the mood, then no comments are allowed.
  6. The male must be discouraged from growing any sort of facial hair; mustache, stubble, beard, etc, unless he looks sexy with them.
  7. Daily shaving from the male’s side is strongly advised unless he looks sexy with the 5 o’clock shadow.
  8. Both parties must try their very best to get rid of any and all BO.
  9. Looking and smelling sexy is an obligation to both parties.
  10. If the male doesn’t show any initiative to be appealing and sexy, the female is allowed to do the same and “let herself go”
  11. The male must be informed that occasionally the female won’t be in the mood for pain, and so body hair will be observed and allowed to grow.
  12. If the male is disgruntle with regards to the previous point; then he must be subjected to the process. The female will perform the waxing process on whatever body part she chooses, we suggest the arms. If he withstands the entire body part without crying in pain and doesn’t wince at the idea of repeating the process every few weeks, he may be given the right to be disgruntle. If he doesn’t, he may only object if the female’s body hair is longer than his.

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