First it starts little by little; the small particles of hope inside me begin to take notice, but they are slow in doing so; they don’t exercise that often. It has been years since they’ve been used, they can see me trying and they want to believe, but it’s like sleeping in on a hot afternoon and hearing your phone ring, looking at it you see it’s your best friend. And although you miss her, you are too content in your slothy nest that is your bed or your comfy worn out arm chair, and you just don’t feel like talking, but after a while the persistence gets you to answer.
My hope particles have agreed to participate, but reluctantly, so they are rising up with a resignated sigh ,shovling their big feet ,making their coffee with a half annoyed and a half “what the hell! lets do this” look and I know it’s a start. I look at all of them and some of them are grinning at me and stopping before others see them, and some are giving me the thumbs up .And I start to believe it can actually work and I am thinking that if I got them to do it, then maybe it will work out. I start repeating incouraging words like a mantra, and I know there is a fat chance that it won’t amount to anything. I can see it in some of their disgruntled faces in the corner, but I can’t help; it the feeling has already overwhelmed my heart ,veins and soul.
.. even if it is lazy hope